Those recent incident just made me almost losing myself.. i've been forgetting things... easily bu shuang by ppl.. keep forgetting those things i promised others... it's like my heart is not with me, in chinese i think is xin bu zhai yan.... well i just have to get back on track.. yet again i told caroline i'm free on thurs... just realie not long ago i have apec on thurs...and on fri.. like argh!! all my plans on friday are boom! bash! gone... the day where i wanna let myself go is gone!! the day where i wanna meet my friends is gone... will be in the airport till from 4-1230am receiving delegates.. wonder how am i gonna cope with it with my current condition... saying smile and let it go is easy.. but doing it is difficult... just hope tmr i have more laughs with my poly crew to get thoughs away from me.. and please cross fingers, dlmsha, yupps..
well tmr yet another formal clothes and makeup day... this course is like changing me.. i dun like.. making us put makeups which i dun really like or u seldom see me do..... wear formal frm the start of the sem till the end which is okay la.. wasting money on all the stuff i shld not be wasting on like comestics as i think is a waste of money as i dun usual use these stuff.. like since when u will see me wearing make up go out?? well some may say it's changing for a better but to me is like creating another identity just to please others.. well... maybe someday i would grow and accept it... maybe someday... as for now..i dun know who is this personin fornt of me when i look into the mirror...
well.. shall go off now... as the saying goes.. zhao shui zhao qi sheng ti hao...